(Note: Every link can be clicked for a more interactive (and good looking) story!)
 

On the 16th of April 2009, RR Inc first set foot in Ulduar. What follows is a recount of the days following. On that first day we waited with baited breath until the raid invites came, as the majority of us idled complacently in the skies of Storm Peaks, aboard our numerous, multicolored, assorted proto-drakes.

The air was tense as the groups were comprised, and the chosen few were asked to come while the rest were thanked profusely for their attendance, and asked to be on standby incase replacements needed to be made. Into the Expedition Camp was where we first stepped, meeting Brann Bronzebeard in the main foyer. The mighty explorer sought to launch an initial attack and break open the main gate, while destroying all adjacent surrounding towers and structures.

Well, let's face it, who were we to question him? He was a dwarf for the love all that's Holy (Light)

So, no questions asked, 25 of our best gladiators boarded a vast amount of siege vehicles, ranging from motorcycles to siege destroyers and demolishers (not unlike those found within Wintergrasp). With valor we steamed down the expedition valley, heading straight for the main gate, which we proceded to destroy as soon as we were in range.

From the gate sprang an exceptionally large robotic creature, not dissimilar to a tank. While half of the raid were having a smoke break, and the other half were learning latin on their other monitor, we defeated the Flame Leviathan.

Before long, we had grown tired of basking in the glory of our Flame Leviathan kill and /dance'ing with each others' companion pets, and were informed that the next boss we would be encountering would be Razorscale.

Razorscale was in the Colossal Forge area, and it did not take us long to work out that Razorscale must be suffering from a deadly case of Gingivitus, as, standing in her breath would surely end in your own demise. Thankfully, her breath was large, fuzzy, and shone a fluorescent blue colour when it hit the ground, so mostly everyone managed to get out of them (mostly).

With Razorscale defeated, we reviewed our battle plans and combat maps, as the lootwhores in the guild started asking why [Reins of Razorscale] hadn't dropped, and the hunters of the guild tried to tame the corpse.

XT-002 Deconstructor would be our next foe. As I'm sure you are aware, mechanical constructions of any sort are our enemies and must be defeated. We are pirates. We do not need robots (usually) to tell us where to go, how to play, when to jump and when or when not to stand in the fire.

At the start, we tried doing XT-002 Deconstructor in a strategy which, as of yet, I have not known to be used. Instead of DPSing the heart on the initial drop, we would all type /flirt to the nearest female character. Female characters were also strongly encouraged to do this, although, in hindsight, it seems only those tipsy from a mug of [Brewfast Brew] carried out this request.

In the end, this tactic was slightly flawed, and we decided instead to put the XT-002 Deconstructor out of his misery by ripping him into shards of scrap metal.

After killing XT-002, we took a small break. We all had wenches to feed and cats to make sexual advances upon, so a small recess was taken.

Kologarn would be our next opponent. In our journey to reach the Holy Grail that is Yogg-Saron, we found it pertinant to cross the bridge to the Shattered Walkway. In our path we crossed Kologarn, a brave knight giant who was willing to risk all of his limbs to make sure we would not pass.

After slicing off said limbs, Kologarn was but a shadow of his former self, and we promptly knocked him out. I bet Kologarn never saw the irony of his own body being the bridge that adventurers such as us would cross! But there you go. That's karma for you.

The battle plans were once more drawn up as the miners among us tried to chip away blue gems from Kologarn's groinal area (who were quickly told to stop lest they incur instability to the bridge)!

While our dedicated leaders drew up the next battle formation, we explored the halls. In one of the chambers, we came across three chaps. One big yin, one small yin, and one yin which was neither big nor small. We were bored so we thought, meh, let's kill these guys while we're waiting. So we did. The Iron Council were too busy pitching ideas from their constituents to mount any kind of defense against us, and quickly perished.

As we all sat back and merrily had a drink of tea and a shot of heroin, a ferocious cry echoed throughout the chamber. Immediately, we all turned to face Setinho, known for crying ferociously about his DPS, but no tear tracks were on his face! Another roar belted over the walls of the Shattered Walkway, and from the corner of our eyes we saw it. A lonely old lady with 4 cute little cat friends.

As we all looked on in pity at the cat lady (with some of us screaming OMGKYOOT!!! at the cats) our adept leaders, Felfarin (codename Gadumba) and Kann (codename Kann) spotted a hefty looking bag dangling from Auraiya, the cat lady's arm. Now, I'm not trying to say that we robbed an old lady or anything. It was completely different. Somebody stumbled into the bag and one thing led to another and, well, we started attacking her.

Her primary defense system (OMGKYOOT!!) sprang into action, but were quickly taunted by our meatshields, who decided to go with the 'Jerry Seinfeld' approach to taunting; backhandedly mocking their mice-catching skills and saying that they could use a claw clipping.

With kitties distracted, we focussed our attention on the brittle bones of Auraiya. She screamed and shouted and tried to chase us away, but she wasn't strong enough. On this day, RR Inc reigned supreme, and killed this old lady. In the bag, we not only found the guild's first [Runed Orb] but a couple of loose [Werther's Originals] which were hastily eaten by the officers on deck (Sparrhawk and Dodje had to share one though).

With the defeat of Auraiya, we parted for the night to our quarters, where we would spend the night battling our own personal demons over the fact that we had, infact, just murdered an old lady in cold blood.

As dawn broke the next day, the squadron of 25 lept from their tents and sucked in some of that beautiful fresh air, fully prepared to slay more old ladies in the evening.

With due diligence they prepared their weapons and oiled their arms, ate their spinach and tied their shoelaces as Felfarfin and Kann announced the next challengers on their hitlist; Ignis, Thorim and Freya.